Well, either theirs or mine. What follows is my wild-eyed conspiracy theories about what could be behind some recent gibberings from that quarter.

Start with why the hell Rummy resigned only when it would do nobody any good except himself. Why didn’t the Shrub ask him to leave when it could have helped the Grand Old Perverts in the election? Because Shrub’s just the face people (used to) want to have a beer with. He can’t fire Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld is one of the triumvirate running the place. None of them can fire each other because they all know too much. If one of them backs out, it’s because he damn well wants to.

Rummy’s nuts, but not stupid. He knew people would come hopping after him with hatchets the minute he was out of power. He wasn’t going to give up his protection unless the alternative was nothing but endless days of being polite to pesky Congresscritters. When it looked pretty hopeless, Shrub got his heads-up to draft Robert “Iran-Contra Escape Artist” Gates to stand by. Once there was no hope, none at all, which only happens after the results are in, then Rumsfeld resigned. In his own good time. He doesn’t give one single solitary microhoot about the election priorities of a bunch of peons who need votes.

The next one of the three to go, if any of this has anything to do with reality, will be Rove. There’s no further kingmaking for him to do. He’s not going to be able to kick Congress around the way he’d like to. And his day job is going to be listening to the Shrub’s tantrums. I see him “pursuing other options.”

And what about Dick “I like ducks” Cheney? He might find out he’s had heart trouble all these years. It may become necessary for him to spend more time with the board of Halliburton. Then somebody could be slotted into Veep-space who could run in 2008.

Outside the White House, why is McCain (and the Liebermouse) still pretending that all we need is more troops for total victory? Are they really that stupid? I don’t think so. There’s not a snowball’s chance in Washington that 500,000 troops will be sent to Iraq. There is also no chance that Iraq will end well before the next election. This way, he can say, “If only you’d followed my advice. But you didn’t. Now see the mess we’re in.”

Possibly, just possibly, my wild-eyed theories are wrong. They were last time.

But that opens a possibility that threatens to unseat reason, at least what I’ve got of it. It means that maybe, perhaps, these guys really believe it. I mean, really. They really think they’re serving the country with this shit. As if they thought we were all really flies, and not human beings. It beggars my imagination. It’s much easier to assume that they must be rational, and have breathtaking chasms of amorality. But then the hugeness of the vacuum in the place where they ought to have souls is beyond me.

Either they are mad, or I am.

And I know it’s not me.

Technorati tags: Republicans, Rumsfeld, Gates, McCain, election